Dealing with Doors, pt. 1

I'm going to start timing my writing to make sure that I write at least 20 minutes a day. I tell my students they need to read at least 30 minutes a day to improve themselves and I've decided for me, it's writing. I need to express myself. I feel good when I write.

To get into it deeper, there are several reasons why I might have been avoiding writing. The first reason is that it's work. Cuz it is. And today, I worked my butt off for over 12 straight hours. I don't want to work anymore.
BUT...in reality, writing is freeing. It's relaxing, if I let it be.
So, reason #1: BUSTED

Reason #2: It takes too much time. This actually goes into the next reason because I know WHY I think it takes too much time. Also, when I set myself 20 minutes, EVERYBODY has 20 minutes.
So, Reason #2: BUSTED

Reason #3: I have doors that I like to keep closed and they might get opened if I start writing about myself. I can't start writing cuz who knows what might come tumbling out from behind those doors. BUT...I have a processing disorder. No, really. I have a fear and inability to process a lot of things, at least in a timely manner. I need to start dealing with these doors one at a time or things will start festering behind them. Even if it takes time.
So, Reason #3: BUSTED

You know, I was just thinking about how much leadership experience I've had in the last 10 years of my life. Just the sheer volume of opportunities I've had to be in leadership or making decisions or planning or guiding. I'm 22 years old, and I can say without bragging that I have confidence. I still do many stupid things and I still lose it and get overwhelmed and stressed. But I know how hold and conduct myself. I know how to take charge of things. (I know HOW; I'm not the best) I know how to be in front of people. I don't fear a lot of things that a lot of people do or even that I USED to. But I think I've closed a lot of doors in this whole process and I'm a little scared of THEM. And I haven't taken a close enough look to decide whether they were good doors to close - things in me that I don't need anymore, or if they are doors I need to air out regularly - process, think, deal. I saw an intense example tonight of what pent-up emotions can do.
So I'm going to try and regularly go through doors that are part of me and write for at least 20 minutes, 5 times a week. Topics forthcoming.